So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
