He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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