I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
