so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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