Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
