I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I have fence marks all over my body
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
