My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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