hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
