haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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