erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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