Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
