It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
