i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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