It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
