Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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