everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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