dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
