If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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