I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
