Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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