i wish peter jackson would direct porn
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
