Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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