i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
zippers are such a cool invention
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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