i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she smelled like a LAN party
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
