I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
