i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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