You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
