matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
