mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
