threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
