If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
