yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
