i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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