I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
