Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
