So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
