but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
