So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
