But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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