Sponge bath it is.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Someone signed my nipple.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
