Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
