we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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