you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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