Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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