it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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