Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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