Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I have post one night stand depression
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
