She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
