she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
