Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
